From And Now, Anacostia via DCist, I see that a coffee place called Big Chair Coffee may b
e opening up on MLK Avenue across from (obviously) the famous Big Chair. Clearly this is happy news for Anacostians and the city as a whole, as the area is in definite need of some development. Plus, the more caffeine sources, the happier the citizenry, I always say.
But when I read this, what first struck me was the weird naming similarity to the beloved Big Bear Cafe. It doesn’t look like they’re operated by the same people, which leads me to believe that D.C. may be on the verge of an epidemic of rhyming coffee houses. This could be both awesome and horribly disturbing. Some candidates I think are most likely to come to fruition:
Big Hair Coffee – This exciting glam metal-themed cafe would serve up its brew while blasting tunes from Twisted Sister and White Snake over the house speakers. The only drinks available would be the red eye and cold, stale drip grind from the previous night’s tribute concert. Located on H Street NE.
Big Mare Espresso – An equine enthusiast’s coffee headquarters, this spot would cater to the high-powered D.C. lawyer set that keeps their horses stabled in Potomac. Not only would the cafe have horse racing memorabilia and on-site betting, but it would also feature an octo-shot specialty drink called, naturally, an Eight Belles. I’ve been told the drink is “killer” (too soon?).
Big Fair Cafe – Stop in to this carnie-run joint if you like your coffee strong, your wait staff entertaining, and you don’t mind some minor grifting. Yes, BFC is Washington’s first establishment of any kind to be a wholly owned subsidiary of the Iowa State Fair. So expect to run into such luminaries as the bearded lady and the human cannonball as they serve up your delicious latte. Try not to mention the pervasive cabbage smell (it’s considered impolite). Location: varied, as they like to move it around to stay ahead of the law.
So I think all these new coffee options will be great for the District. Let’s make it happen, developers!
