“I know how to castrate a calf.”

Iowa Lt. Gov. Patty Judge at Senator Tom Harkin’s annual Steak Fry:

“Sarah knows how to field-dress a moose. I know how to castrate a calf. Neither of those things has anything at all to do with this election. But since we know so much about Sarah’s special skills, I wanted to make sure you knew about mine too.”

I say this with absolutely no sarcasm: I am so proud to be an Iowan right now.